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Laurie Byro
Advanced Member
Username: lauriette

Post Number: 1241
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 9:09 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Where the Dead Go

He hides in the dark corners of my room.
I cover myself with sleep. I become
the only light in the house not worth knowing.
Lately, I see him out on the sidewalk scurrying
between old women carrying canes. Lately,
he bangs on the door of my house. I wade
through dreams, make the descent to shoo him
away. He’s gone brazen black, changed
to a skittering bat. I run him down
on an empty country road that goes on forever.
Each tree I pass has him peering through branches
wearing his leafy mask. Each mountain laurel
has him blinking at me through white clusters
of flowers. I turn off my headlights, drive
in the dark.

Shadows become larger as we form patterns
that interfere with sunlight. A row of beetles
climb their ponderous flight along the limb
of a tulip tree. Suntanned children play along
mossy banks making houses for crawfish
out of twigs and stones. We cast ourselves
in shade over their emerging mansions.
They squint in the sun, pay us no mind.

He carries me on his back over the River Styx.
I look down through his transparency.
Not like a dragonfly’s veined wings,
nor a sooty moth’s frenetic breath—
more like breath itself. As if he held me inside
half a second too long, exhaled me slowly.
I am the neon that signals abandon.
He is the current lifting me up, pulling me under.

Now you will say, I have become his concubine.
Now you will say, I am the blood that no longer
runs through him. I wait for the thud of his fall
as he crashes into the warm earth. A god-
awful noise, or worse the quiet flight
of his leaving me behind.



Gary Blankenship
Senior Member
Username: garyb

Post Number: 4779
Registered: 07-2001
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 10:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Laurie, a vg read, a fine work. I would drop the second lately, but it part of your music.

I like now you will say repeated much better. My fav

I look down through his transparency.
Not like a dragonfly’s veined wings,
nor a sooty moth’s frenetic breath—
more like breath itself. As if he held me inside
half a second too long, exhaled me slowly.
I am the neon that signals abandon.
He is the current lifting me up, pulling me under.

Smiles.

Gary



The new, August FireWeed is ready for you to read. Go in through http://www.mindfirerenew.com/
to get to the issue in a click or two.
Karla Isbell
Member
Username: karla

Post Number: 60
Registered: 02-2004
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 11:52 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Laurie,

I just have to day that I love this! I'm seeing some sort of night demon, perhaps an incubus? One that is desired instead of feared? Almost thought of a sort of vampire at first, with the changing into a bat and the blood that no longer runs through him...but then realized that vampires do not cast shadows.

My only suggestion for change would be to set off "or worse" from "the quiet flight
of his leaving me behind." either with a comma or a dash, or even ellipses.

Beautifully written, one of my favorites by you.

My best,
Karla
Morgan Lafay
Valued Member
Username: morganlafay

Post Number: 251
Registered: 08-2005
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 12:52 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Each line carries the reader to the next, the next! Your piece is wonderful.
Laurie Byro
Advanced Member
Username: lauriette

Post Number: 1244
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Tuesday, September 13, 2005 - 6:41 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Gary Karla and Morgan:
Thank you ALL very much. Appreciate you reading me.

We had our 1st "circle of voices" which i lead for the season and it was a huge hit.

I showed them the anthology and read them a poem and they were astounded.

This is so cool to be able to market our work like this.

laurie

Teresa White
Member
Username: teresa_white

Post Number: 71
Registered: 01-2005
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 6:57 am:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

Hi Laurie,

Your voice has become so dinstinct over the past few years -- I think I could pick yours out of a crowd with no problem. This is lovely-- each line thoughtfully placed-- the entire poem full of wonderful imagery. This is one to savor, and savor again.

Bravo!

Teresa
Laurie Byro
Advanced Member
Username: lauriette

Post Number: 1248
Registered: 11-2003
Posted on Thursday, September 15, 2005 - 5:39 pm:   Edit Post Delete Post View Post/Check IP Print Post    Move Post (Moderator/Admin Only)

hi teresa,

I hope in my quest to develop "a voice" I still have an interested following. I appreciate you hanging with me over the years. I would say several of us have developed a voice and I appreciate your contribution to poetry.

xo
Laurie

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